The unofficial larb eatery

From Ghetto to Gourmet, from Pabst to Perignon, EatFiend is where you will find pictures of food, skateboarding, the ways of the Almighty Larb and drunken ramblings about pictures of food.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Eatsgiving Vacation

When I sat down to write this post, my goal was to chronicle my recent vacation down in SD. Looking through our pictures, I realize now that our ability to photograph our food is inversely proportional to the amount we drink.

We drink a lot.

I was hoping I would find pictures of Thanksgiving II, but they are scarce. Sgt. Baconator, sir, I hope that the hard plastic J├Ąger sponge that is your phone captured some of that glory.

For now, it looks like I have Fried Chicken night pictures. Friends, Eatfiends, Larbs, Turkeys and Hotdogs, I give you Fried Chicken Night.

I'm not sure what this green stuff is. I'm told it's called a vegetable. I'm not sure how to pronounce that word. Is the "g" soft? ve-het-able? Either way, I have a strange inkling to start the reactor core.

Marc (who, until he adopts an Eatfiend name, shall henceforth be referred to as Hotdog) decided to do some Fried Chicken! Hotdog was looking to do a traditional buttermilk dip to start it out, but Sgt. Baconator drank all the Buttermilk, so Hotdog used Greek Yogurt and Hot sauce. Non-traditional, but it worked really well. He then dredged it in some sort of breading, the ingredients to which are an Ancient Cambodian Secret. Did I mention that he fried it in Bacon Grease?

The first batch came out Golden Crispy. The thighs were really well done and the skin was ri-dick. To quote Nick Kroll, "You know who loves fried chicken? Black people. You know who else loves fried chicken? EVERYBODY! 'CAUSE THAT SHIT IS DELICIOUS!"

Chicken Porn.

Full glory, with an Au Jus on the left (For fuck knows what, Sgt. Baconator probably beerbonged it) and some mashed 'Taters on the top right. Christian's Steak and non-meat accoutrements on the bottom right. 

We BBQed that night for fear of the alternative, which is, of course, death. Stuffed pork loin. Billy also did some Chreemps, which we were too busy with heavy drinking to take pictures of.

The next morning was a hungover shitshow! Hot dogs with beans, jalapenos, onions, and canned cheese! Why didn't we fry these in bacon grease too?

As a preview of what I hope is to come (Sarge, I'm looking at you), I present to the Larb and Eatfiend community the BACON TURKEY! This is before it cooked. The bacon hardened into an armor of sorts, but one that would not protect against an Eatfiend. It also dripped gorgeous bacon fat into the turkey parts, further contributing to our collective heart disease.

I made some Gyoza from scratch that day. Dressed one up all purty-like for the blog. Filling is Shitake mushroom, pork, garlic, scallions and bok choi.

Then Sgt. Baconator got drunk, threw a knife through some water piping in his garage, and flipped over an asshole table like, 3 times. Below is a rare photo of a Larb in his natural habitat. This is something on par with photos of a snow leopard, as the Larb typically does not occupy habitats with enough light for a camera to operate. The blackness of his soul, and his ass, absorbs all light emanating from a flash.

See you guys for Larbsmas and New Year's Eat!!!




Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Carne Asada with extra nostalgia

I don't know why Northern California just can't get burritos, or for that matter Mexican food, to taste... what's the word... GOOD.

Since I've been on vacation in good old socal, I've been ramming burritos into my gaping maw like they don't exist in norcal. That statement may as well be true, because they're substandard imitations of what is to be found down here.

I went to Clayton's Mexican Takeout in Coronado today, long considered to be one of the crappier Mexican takeout restaurants in San Diego. It stood up to expectations.

The carne was overcooked and the veggies were lousy. But here's the sad part: It was 1000x better than any burrito I've had up north, even in the depths of the Mexican neighborhoods where one would expect the best qauality Mexican food. I enjoyed the hell out of a burrito that has to be one of the worst in San Diego, just because Northern California Mexicans can't get their shit together.

Just a quick summary of what a standard carne asada burrito consists of up north:

"Steak" (which I still refer to as carne asada, even though most mexican restaurants don't). This is a pretty accurate description because it seems that they don't season, marinade, or do much of anything with it.
Rice and Beans (I mean what the flying fuck? They put them on tacos too. Do I need to take these Mexicans to Mexican cooking school?)
Lettuce and tomatoes.
Guac and sour cream for like, $1.50 extra.

Carne asada burrito in San Diego:
Guac, sour cream, cheese, and lettuce & tomatoes if you want it.

I went to a place in Fruitvale, a shitty neighborhood in Oakland not too long ago. Naturally, the shittier the neighborhood, and the more Ethnically Mexican a neighborhood is, the better one would expect the burrito to be.

I asked for a Carne asada burrito a-la-socal, as above. Specifically, I asked for no rice and beans. So somehow, in their mind, that meant "Put a weird fucking salad thing in as filler." So it was like a norcal burrito, except instead of rice and beans, it was shredded lettuce with what tasted like some overly sweet miso dressing. Yeah, really fucking authentic there, chumps.

I digress. My point is that San Diego's crappiest offering still puts the Bay Area to shame. Anyone want to invest in a Mexican restaurant to be opened in the East Bay? I will put these assholes out of business with a real taco shop.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Sahi Chronicles Part 1

I introduce to you the G-man! Bringin' you that tasty Louisiana goodness that we all know to love!
In case you don't know, G-Man eats the creatures from the blue ocean. No red meat for this man...
                                       With that being said: Spicy Japanese Eggplant Yum!
               Mix it up with some onions and Indian cheese and you got the goods right there!

Thats how the G-Man does it! Hoped you all enjoyed!

-Sgt. Baconator


So far it's been a blast. I can sum it up pretty easily.







Sunday, November 20, 2011

Eating is what we do!

                                 This is just a taste of the madness and tasty goodness as of late.
              Soft boiled eggs with bacon on an english muffin. Splash some hot sauce on that bitch....
                                      Seems like alot of the nights/days are starting off this way....
                                Then the beast awakens......... with a beef tenderloin of course!
                                 Truly a master of his craft... that's filet mignon! Jealous much?
                                                Ain't no fun if the homies can't have none!
               Its like watching a symphony be conducted, except you can smell it instead of hear it....
                                                         Marinated in god knows what...
                                                              Cooked to perfection....
                                Its nice having a chef that comes to yer house and cooks for you...
        Then it went on to a drunken shit-show later that night. I decided to bake some eggs on pizza.
                                                   Great night, great time, great friends.
                                                                  Eat Fucking Fiend

-Sgt. Baconator

Much more coming soon.....

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Pizza Power!

Remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I sure do! Who doesn't love pizza power? Its the best food ever. Meat, cheese, sauce and dough I think I spooged my pants. There's a local pizza shop 3 blocks from my house. Carry-out special for $8.99 or $11 and change if you want 2 toppings.
                                                  I give you the bacon and sausage pizza...
What tastes grood with pizza you ask? PBR! duh. I was so hyped South Park did a white-trash/ PBR                   episode last nite. Good stuff.
                       Shotgun a few beers first. Don't wanna send no pizza into my belly alone...
Then the good stuff! Ever have feta cheese and pepperoni pizza? As my cohort Garbage Life says "D-fuckin'-Licous!" Had a few bowls of Satanic-Salad to go with it. Gotta give it that "burnt" taste in my mind.
Then Wormtits came home with 30 pounds of assorted meat from the store!!! More to come very soon! See you soon Garbage Life.

-Sgt. Baconator

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Now thats entertainment!

What better way to spend a rainy weekend eating good food and having good times......... Eating some damn good spaghetti and meat sauce.............
 Keepin' the boys entertained the good ol' fashioned way. Ain't no stupid ass facebook talk up in here....................
Oh' drunk you say? So am I!!!! Lets say we finish this tasty bottle of goodness and chow down on some maple sausage!
 Only $.50 a pack!!! Get there while you can! Thanks alot fellas for the good times. Happy Football Sunday to all of you.

-Sgt. Baconator

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Nothing cures a hangover like breakfast!

                                           How do you cure 5 hungry hungover Larbs...........

3 eggs per Larb, 1 lb. of bacon, 1 lb. of maple cooked sausage
and of course beer for the cook!!!
Eat Fucking Fiend!

-Sgt. Baconator

Thursday, November 10, 2011




Marin sun farms grass fed sirloin tip. DE-FUCKING-LICIOUS. I have to be at work in an hour so no beer with it today. That might be against blog rules.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Monday, November 7, 2011

EatFiend bar/food review/ Nicky Rottens/ Fuck the N.Y. Giants

Went to Nicky Rottens with my dad in Coronado yesterday to watch the N.Y. Giants @ New England. The bar is pretty nice, they certainly classed it up compared to the days of old (Island's Bar & Grill r.i.p.).
Since I was with my old man, he offered to pay the tab so what the hell let's start it off with some Stella's! I quickly realized that after my dad drinks 2 Heinekens and I drink 4 Stella's we developed quite the appetite. Why not start it up with some fried hot dogs?
 My dad got the Chili-Dog and I of course got the All-American(fuck-yea!) Dog. The dogs were large ball-park style Hebrew Nationals all beef comes with french fries @ $8.95 each. Chili dog came with chili, onions, cheese on a nice bun. Mine looked great! Everything my buzzed stomache could ask for with onions, relish, mustard and ketchup!..... wait what the H??? Ketchup?..... KETCHUP???? Who the hell puts ketchup on YOUR hotdog? I was quick to get it over it none the less and chowed down 'cuz thats what I do.
Washed it down with a tallboy of Black Star (on special for $5) tasty none the less.
Then another.....(burp)

What better way to cap up your teams loss (Giants 24 -Patriots 20) with a few comforting Guinness's and last of all some sliders.
Love you Dad, thanks for the great time!

-Sgt. Baconator

Saturday, November 5, 2011

EatFiend Product fuckin' review.
So my mom just came back from vacation and brought me 3 bottles of hot sauce! I didn't even have to steal 'em either! Anyway,  they are good as fuck. 
 "The Butt Burner" is the most mild of the 3, so basically it for pussies.
 The "Texas Tongue Torcher" was pretty fucking good, to the point that I had to drink some beer a few seconds after. Then I needed some more beer, then some more, then some more..... and fuck it! Why not a shot of Jameson too! 
 But boy oh boy the goddamn cock-suckin' "Texas Tail Torcher" was so goddamn hot I know for sure Im gonna be shit fireballs from my asshole tomorrow morning!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the 1st ever EatFiend product review.
From yer EatFiend friend, foe, allie - Sgt. Baconator