Mandatory Bloggery- Oakland Part 4 Shitward Bound

I awoken completely wasted and mouth dry. 
Last night was a doozey.

So here we have Matt. Why is Matt wearing a blanket you ask? Oh, don't mind that. Matt is just naked underneath that blanket. "How do you know?" you must be wondering. That's 'cuz while I was trying to sleep, I'm awoken by this fucker (minus clothing) completely blacked out trying to crawl into bed with me. Literally on top of me and I freaked out. Turns out he thought the bed was empty but it was fucking awkward. He ended up getting locked out of the room that he left his clothes in and I took mercy on him and let him crawl into my hot box of sweaty man ass and farts. Don't worry, we slept ass to ass.
 Huge mistake.

He immediately starts snoring. Here is the sound of FatFuckMatt sleeping.
Bascically ruined our last night of sleep in Oakland.
Can't wait to barf on his front porch again.

Damage assessment. 

Happy Ho-Ho wasn't how I was feeling. After we left our Oakland home I was stopping periodically in the gutter to barf my innards out.

KingBaby's Liquor store.

Evidence that our greasy friend Vincent pissed CommNBeef's  couch. His girlfriend was psyched!

WhiskeySlimeMike keeping the shit baggery at a level 11 volume.

Say please and thank you.

I can dig it.

Takin' slugs.

Saying hello to lil' kittys!

Sweet rides.

Bridge law.

Pillage the pillars with pilsner, I say.

Sweet ride.

Wound up at this hole to kill time before we head to the airport.

I admit, I wasn't participating in the boozing. The liver needed a break. Jim Beam isn't my friend.

This dick... TEAMWORK MAKES THE DICK WORK!
I'll admit, WhiskeySlimeMike was definitely the stinkiest bag of shit the whole trip.

Feeling very weary.

Blurry nights with this crew.

Looks like a Christian rock album cover.

Don't worry folks, their is definitely vodka mixed with that Mountain Dew.

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

Awake....

Poof! asleep.

We took turns.

Never rode my skateboard. A once great human once said to me "Sometimes skateboarding isn't skateboarding."

Standard procedure.

Just another day getting frisked. He was probably at half mast at this point.

KingBaby sucking down some oysters. He and WhiskeySlimeMike were the last ones on the plane. Literally.

I bought a double cheeseburger to stuff my suckhole on the hour plane ride home. I was fucking exhausted.

Eat
Fucking
Fiend

-Sgt.Baconator