EATFIEND: Mandatory Bloggery: Larbing It Up In Chacago part 2

We are back with the second installmenet of my bachelor party.

Just after the first night DonaldGateley and I didn't go to sleep 'til well after sunrise. Drinking in the streets is a fun thing to do. After Donald turned in and retreated to the hostel I went to CVS and bought a bunch of blue Gatorades, a dozen eggs and a pound of bacon. Then I got into an argument with the sales clerk because he wouldn't sell me beer. Also I was super shit faced. Slurring curse words and demanding to talk to the manager. I was escorted out by security.... obviously.

The result was bacon and scrambled eggs. After everybody started to awaken from the stench filled room of whiskey and beer shits we all took turns destroying the bathroom and showering.

This is where I started drinking. If yer already drunk, why the fuck not? Dr.Pepper and Jim Beam with bacon??? Yes please!

Off to the Charger vs. Bears football game. No sign of CammanderNBeef in sight yet at this point.

WormTits was kind enough to carry a jersey all the way to him, not knowing if we were ever going to find him.

On our way to the game, these 2 black ladies drove up to me of all people asking for directions.

Of course I had no info. worthy of sharing but when I looked into the center console of there car, I noticed they had fast food. In my drunken state I asked them for a bite of their burger and they politely declined but offered me a whole bag of fries. Stoked!

This was a freat way to start a great day!

Leaf, Gates and Gates. Ryan Leaf is easily the most hated and infamous Charger (next to E.Manning).

While waiting for CommanderNBeef we seeked refuge inside of a dark dive. Jameson on the rocks went around while everyone did their best to shake off their hangovers.

I however was drunk, what with the bacon/JimBeam shower for breakfast and all.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Can't remember the name of the bar we were in but the had a rad calendar from their '85 Super Bowl victory of a giant bear on top of the Sears tower. So sick. Stinky insisted that our busty bartender get in the shot.

Yard art.

DonaldGately hailing a cab and blocking his face from my camera at the same time.

So we ended up meeting up with CommNBeef and his lady friend in tow, and wound up at Miller's Pub after a short cab ride.

A nice pub where everything is made of wood and its dark mellow atmosphere.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a shithole. It was packed with people.

So this is the poor unfortunate couple that I sat close to and talked their ears off.

The husband was annoyed with me but the wife loved me! I proceeded to get super belligerent.

When it came time to order I was on a good one. It was minimum $20 a plate for whatever the fuck everyone else ordered but I decided to order a Millers Pub t-shirt and a side of meatballs, which were damn good.

Here's the lunch everyone had. I guess the meal wasn't up to par for some people. But I didn't really give a shit, feeling like the drunkest/smartest guy at the table whom ordered meatballs. You can never go wrong with balls made of meat sitting in a dish of marinara sauce. Thats my shit. Oh yea, it's not pictured. Doh!

So in this picture is CommNBeef's hot little number on the far right. Apparently he and her spent the night doing the nasty in the Waldorf Hotel in a King size bed. Lucky dog, we had to sleep amongst each other's stink and man ass the prior night.

Apparently I bummed her out because I congratulated her for having a dead father.

Im a dick.

But we all know this.

Have I mentioned how rad the architecture is there?

Some bar I got kicked out of on the way there. No idea why...

I swear I saw Batman up on that building....

On our way to Soldier Stadium.

Brachosaurous? I have no idea how to say it or spell it. Fuck it.

So rad looking.

Stadium in sight. I guess the rebuilt it 3 or 4 years ago.

Hail Hail the Gangs all Here! Oh wait, minus CommNBeef whom once again disappeared with his lady friend for the evening. In for another night of humping he didn't even make it to the game.

Maybe I bummed her out so hard she stole him from us. Our President Captured!

It was hot as balls and I decided to wear my vest on top of my jersey while carrying my Miller's Pub t-shirt. I looked like a real jerk! Fuck it, my theory is you gotta represent yer team. Be as big of an annoying cunt as one can be.

DonaldGately was nice enough to buy my first beer. At this point I was a bit pooped.
Sat down, nodded out and dropped my whole beer. Woops.
DonaldGately bought me another beer and I slowly came to life.
ARE WE HAVING FUN YET???

I stayed true to the brew and fought away the fatigue by getting drunk. My phone ran out of batteries so this pic is courtesy of DonaldGately! I (being a Masshole at heart) started screaming DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
Which if you have seen Party Down, then you'd get the reference.