EATFIEND: Mandatory Bloggery- Helms Deep! The Return Of GucciBuckTim and the BornRetard ShitShow

So hyped Tim is home!
Time to make the most of it.... Let's do this!

For your listening pleasure while yer viewing the blog. (fast forwards to :15 sec.)
Don't blame me for goin' soft, I ate a big bowl of devils lettuce this morning.

Skateboarding rules everything around me.

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Look at that beautiful man right there! Tim is back from down under!

Heavy crew at the Home Ave. ditch.

Rest heavy my friends.

Lurkville bubs, Sk858 bubs, Ozzy bubs, DPC bubs. We all over the place!

Shining man vulture.

Pebble beach couldn't stop us.

Maybe a busted axle can stop us. Womp womp.

FUCK OFF YE CUNT!

All smiles this one.

Spittler Sr. holding down the table at the Cherry Bomb.

The next day, picking up BornRetard for a morning session.

"Don't take my picture, I'm not supposed to be hanging out with you." -BornRetard

We had a fucking blast at Poods park. Smoothest ground. Love it!

For cool cats only.

DO WORK!

Hitting up the Dong with WormTits.

Shrimp anyone?

Korean Bbq hot wings on the menu!

Grill, baste, sip beer, repeat.

Food boner alert.

Longanesa.

With a shit load of pesto shrimp!

Solid crew at this point. Not too many dudes or drunk people just yet.

Then the trouble began...

Pesto shrimp was consumed and devoured. Compliments to WormTits for de-shelling and gutting all of these fuckers. Very time consuming.

Butterface showed up a bit late with more food and corn! Reinforcements!

The Ozzy bubs were definitely taking advantage of the beer bong festivities.

BOTTOMS UP! TIME TO GET FUCKED UP!

Killed it over and over again.

While we killed tacos.

Mike Abarta came all the way from Long Beach to come hang. It was a great time with great bubs.

The bub on the left is Tims friend from OZ. His name is Shannon. I had many conversations with this chap and although they are all good, this one comes to mind.

Me- Holy shit bub, nice shirt!

Shannon- Yea mate, it's my "get fucked up" shirt. Do you have a "get fucked up" shirt?

Me- All my shirts are fucked up shirts.

We are stinkers! Not thinkers.

Cody probably discussing something or other about his brother.

Andrew Elliot aka TheAmazingMadMan also came down from LBC to kick it with us for the night.

That dude is a straight up skateboard killer!

Then BornRetard started blasting shitty hardcore from his phone. Totally ignoring everyones general discontent for his taste in music. Zero fucks were given, which is all you can really expect from him.

We partied the sun away and the darkness made us into wild beasts. BornRetard started fucking with Tim. The Ozzies started chanting "HELMS DEEP! HELMS DEEP! HELMS DEEP!"

Then Tim reached his hands and grabbed the front-waistband of BornRetards underpants and gave him the gnarliest front atomic wedgie I've ever seen.

Straight up ripped his underwear out of his shorts and left him lying there on the ground.

Then people started dumping beer on him. It was fucking hilarious.

"FUCK OFF!" He kept screaming.

Messed with the 'Buck, he got the horns.

Then it was time for devils lettuce and skate vids. Same 'ol, same 'ol.

Just after the second time I yell "Nuts to the face!" (:13 sec.), BornRetard farts so hard and loud.
It was fucking hilarious and disgusting.

NASTY NEIL!!!

BornRetard sharing some unwanted Hardcore knowledge.

Then he caught on to me taking his picture.

The wife was not psyched on the shitbaggery that was taking place.

BornRetard and DonaldGately hugging it out.

First time these two met they fought.

Nobody likes HardcoreHans.

That's DavidJ over there. NOOK IN DA HOUSE!

At this point BornRetard was stumbling and singing. So naturally I had to turn it into a sing-off just so I could hear my voice over his.